4 breaking dawn破晓- 第93部分

　
percent　sure　and　their　one　hundred　percent　sure　might　be　very　different　things。　

Other　than　their　squabbling；　Seth's　slow　breathing；　and　Leah's　annoyed　panting；　it　was　very　quiet。　
Emmett；　Alice；　and　Esme　were　hunting。　Jasper　had　stayed　behind　to　watch　me。　He　stood　unobtrusively　
behind　the　newel　post　now；　trying　not　to　be　obnoxious　about　it。　

I　took　advantage　of　the　calm　to　think　of　all　the　things　Edward　and　Seth　had　told　me　while　Carlisle　
splinted　Seth's　arm。　I'd　missed　a　whole　lot　while　I　was　burning；　and　this　was　the　first　real　chance　to　catch　
up。　

The　main　thing　was　the　end　of　the　feud　with　Sam's　pack—which　was　why　the　others　felt　safe　to　e　
and　go　as　they　pleased　again。　The　truce　was　stronger　than　ever。　Or　more　binding；　depending　on　your　
viewpoint；　I　imagined。　

Binding；　because　the　most　absolute　of　all　the　pack's　laws　was　that　no　wolf　ever　kill　the　object　of　another　
wolfs　imprinting。　The　pain　of　such　a　thing　would　be　intolerable　for　the　whole　pack。　The　fault；　whether　
intended　or　accidental；　could　not　be　forgiven；　the　wolves　involved　would　fight　to　the　death—there　was　no　
other　option。　It　had　happened　long　ago；　Seth　told　me；　but　only　accidentally。　No　wolf　would　ever　
intentionally　destroy　a　brother　that　way。　

So　Renesmee　was　untouchable　because　of　the　way　Jacob　now　felt　about　her。　I　tried　to　concentrate　on　
the　relief　of　this　fact　rather　than　the　chagrin；　but　it　wasn't　easy。　My　mind　had　enough　room　to　feel　both　
emotions　intensely　at　the　same　time。　

And　Sam　couldn't　get　mad　about　my　transformation；　either；　because　Jacob—speaking　as　the　rightful　
Alpha—had　allowed　it。　It　rankled　to　realize　over　and　over　again　how　much　I　owed　Jacob　when　I　just　
wanted　to　be　mad　at　him。　

I　deliberately　redirected　my　thoughts　in　order　to　control　my　emotions。　I　considered　another　interesting　
phenomenon；　though　the　silence　between　the　separate　packs　continued；　Jacob　and　Sam　had　discovered　
that　Alphas　could　speak　to　each　other　while　in　their　wolf　form。　It　wasn't　the　same　as　before；　they　couldn't　
hear　every　thought　the　way　they　had　prior　to　the　split。　It　was　more　like　speaking　aloud；　Seth　had　said。　
Sam　could　only　hear　the　thoughts　Jacob　wanted　to　share；　and　vice　versa。　They　found　they　could　
municate　over　distance；　too；　now　that　they　were　talking　to　each　other　again。　

They　hadn't　found　all　this　out　until　Jacob　had　gone　alone—over　Seth's　and　Leah's　objections—to　explain　
to　Sam　about　Renesmee；　it　was　the　only　time　he'd　left　Renesmee　since　first　laying　eyes　on　her。　

Once　Sam　had　understood　how　absolutely　everything　had　changed；　he'd　e　back　with　Jacob　to　talk　
to　Carlisle。　They'd　spoken　in　human　form　（Edward　had　refused　to　leave　my　side　to　translate）；　and　the　
treaty　had　been　renewed。　The　friendly　feeling　of　the　relationship；　however；　might　never　be　the　same。　

One　big　worry　down。　

But　there　was　another　that；　though　not　as　physically　dangerous　as　an　angry　wolf　pack；　still　seemed　more　
urgent　to　me。　




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Charlie。　

He'd　spoken　to　Esme　earlier　this　morning；　but　that　hadn't　kept　him　from　calling　again；　twice；　just　a　few　
minutes　

ago　while　Carlisle　treated　Seth。　Carlisle　and　Edward　had　let　the　phone　ring。　

What　would　be　the　right　thing　to　tell　him？　Were　the　Cullens　right？　Was　telling　him　that　I'd　died　the　best；　
the　kindest　way？　Would　I　be　able　to　lie　still　in　a　coffin　while　he　and　my　mother　cried　over　me？　

tt　didn't　seem　right　to　me。　But　putting　Charlie　or　Renee　in　danger　of　the　Volturi's　obsession　with　secrecy　
was　clearly　out　of　the　question。　

There　was　still　my　idea—let　Charlie　see　me；　when　I　was　ready　for　that；　and　let　him　make　his　own　wrong　
assumptions。　Technically；　the　vampire　rules　would　remain　unbroken。　Wouldn't　it　be　better　for　Charlie　if　
he　knew　that　I　was　alive—sort　of—and　happy？　Even　if　I　was　strange　and　different　and　probably　
frighteningtohim？　

My　eyes；　in　particular；　were　much　too　frightening　right　now。　How　long　before　my　selfcontrol　and　my　
eye　color　were　ready　for　Charlie？　

〃What's　the　matter；　Bella？〃　Jasper　asked　quietly；　reading　my　growing　tension。　〃No　one　is　angry　with　
you〃—alow　snarl　from　the　riverside　contradicted　him；　but　he　ignored　it—〃or　even　surprised；　really。　Well；　
I　suppose　we　are　surprised。　Surprised　that　you　were　able　to　snap　out　of　it　so　quickly。　You　did　well。　
Better　than　anyone　expects　of　you。〃　

While　he　was　speaking；　the　room　became　very　calm。　Seth's　breathing　slipped　into　a　low　snore。　Ifelt　
more　peaceful；　but　I　didn't　forget　my　anxieties。　

〃I　was　thinking　about　Charlie；　actually。〃　

Out　front；　the　bickering　cut　off。　

〃Ah；〃　Jasper　murmured。　

〃We　really　have　to　leave；　don't　we？〃　I　asked。　〃For　a　while；　at　the　very　least。　Pretend　we're　in　Atlanta　or　
something。〃　

I　could　feel　Edward's　gaze　locked　on　my　face；　but　I　looked　at　Jasper。　He　was　the　one　who　answered　
me　in　a　grave　tone。　

〃Yes。　It's　the　only　way　to　protect　your　father。〃　

I　brooded　for　a　moment。　〃I'm　going　to　miss　him　so　much。　I'll　miss　everyone　here。〃　

Jacob；I　thought；　despite　myself。　Though　that　yearning　was　both　vanished　and　defined—and　I　was　vastly　
relieved　that　it　was—he　was　still　my　friend。　Someone　who　knew　the　real　me　and　accepted　her。　Even　as　a　
monster。　

I　thought　about　what　Jacob　had　said；　pleading　with　me　before　I'd　attacked　him。　You　said　we　belonged　
in　each　other's　lives；　right？　That　we　were　family。　You　said　that　was　how　you　and　I　were　supposed　



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to　be。　So。。。　now　we　are。　It's　what　you　wanted。　

But　it　didn't　feel　like　how　I'd　wanted　it。　Not　exactly。　I　remembered　further　back；　to　the　fuzzy；　weak　
memories　of　my　human　life。　Back　to　the　very　hardest　part　to　remember—the　time　without　Edward；　a　
time　so　dark　I'd　tried　to　bury　it　in　my　head。　I　couldn't　get　the　words　exactly　right；　I　only　remembered　
wishing　that　Jacob　were　my　brother　so　that　we　could　love　each　other　without　any　confusion　or　pain。　
Family。　But　I'd　never　factored　a　daughter　into　the　equation。　

I　remembered　a　little　later—one　of　the　many　times　that　I'd　told　Jacob　goodbye—wondering　aloud　who　
he　would　end　up　with；　who　would　make　his　life　right　after　what　I'd　done　to　it。　I　had　said　something　about　
how　whoever　she　was；　

she　wouldn't　be　good　enough　for　him。　

I　snorted；　and　Edward　raised　one　eyebrow　questioningly。　I　just　shook　my　head　at　him。　

But　as　much　as　I　might　miss　my　friend；　I　knew　there　was　a　bigger　problem。　Had　Sam　or　Jared　or　Quil　
ever　gone　a　whole　day　without　seeing　the　objects　of　their　fixations；　Emily；　Kim；　and　Claire？　Could　they？　
What　would　the　separation　from　Renesmee　do　to　Jacob？　Would　it　cause　him　pain？　

There　was　still　enough　petty　ire　in　my　system　to　make　me　glad；　not　for　his　pain；　but　for　the　idea　of　having　
Renesmee　away　from　him。　How　was　I　supposed　to　deal　with　having　her　belong　to　Jacob　when　she　only　
barely　seemed　to　belong　to　me？　

The　sound　of　movement　on　the　front　porch　interrupted　my　thoughts。　I　heard　them　get　up；　and　then　they　
were　through　the　door。　At　exactly　the　same　time；　Carlisle　came　down　the　s